A Trip to Oblivion
by SuperPotterWhoJacksonLock1
Summary: a year after Augustus's death Hazel faces the same tragedy she expected, but without him is it really a tragedy?
1. Pilot

*beep* ...*beep* The only sound in the room is the monitor on the left side of my hospital bed. my dad is sleeping on the chair next to me, my mom left the room to talk to the doctor about the dying part of this situation., shes been gone for an hour now.

Maybe i'll survive this again, i did before.

I hope not, this year has been the hardest year in my life. the 1 year anniversary of Augustus's death. The pain has been unbearable, we've all tried to make him proud. Isaac's ex'girlfriend asked to get back together last month, he said that he'd rather get cancer again. His cancer came back last week. He said he has carcinoma of the lung. On the bright side he is my hospital buddy now.

My mom walks back in and walks over to my other side and sits in the chair next to me. She hold my hand and and looks into my eyes, shes been crying, her eyes are red and swollen. Her hair is up and she is has a over sized sweater on and track pants. Neither of my parents have changed since we got here three days ago. she lays her head on my lap and falls asleep

* * *

I wake up and i am alone in the room. There is a note on my pillow.

_"We got hungry, in the cafeteria. Your father made all the nurses keep a 3rd eye on you, sorry. - Mom" _

She was not effing kidding about the nurses. every 5 seconds they would poke their head in like i couldn't even see them. It always annoys me when people do that, stare at me like i'm made of porcelain. but today it was extra annoying because i just got my period. I always knew i would die on my period. Lets hope i can get one of the nurses to get me chocolate...

* * *

**Sorry this was so short, my mom is yelling at me to go to bed, but this is just the beginning! Next one should be posted tomorow but eh, i want it to be good.**


	2. Issac

I got the chocolate. it was awkward but i got it in the end. I haven't seen very many people since i got here, every now and then Gus's mum and dad will come in. I gees they feel like the owe it to me but seeing them just reminds me that he was supposed to be here, i'm the one who was going to die and leave the other one. Not him. Not my Gus.

I fell asleep around 12:42 PM. When i woke up, Issac was in a chair beside me staring at the ground.

"Hey" i nudge him

"your awake" he says smiling

"no, this is all a dream, i am not even a real person"

i lay back down and snuggle up with my blanket

"i wish" he says continuing to look at the ground

"that nice" i say chuckling (chuckle?)

"you know i don't mean it like that" he smirks

"i know" i say looking back at him

"i just like to make fun of you".

I take another good look at him. His hair as started falling out and his eyes look a bit sunken in. not that bad compared to how i must look right now. my hair grew out a bit in the last year, its almost at my shoulders. but i have about six different tubes sticking out of me, my eyes are sunken in and dark. I swear i am a pencil. I have lost weight, a **lot** of weight.

Issac had to leave to meet his mum, he had more tests today, i wished him lack and went back to sleep. fighting cancer. being awesome. all that.

* * *

My mom and dad brought McDonalds into my room for breakfast the next morning. The nurses approved the food for me, not like it can do much to me now that i'm dying already right? even if i wasn't sick id still eat it. That crap is tasty.

* * *

Nothing really happened the next few days, but now my mom and dad had to talk to the doctor about me. when they came back they had both been teary eyed. they don't half to tell me what he said. I already know.  
"oh Hazel" my mom says shaking her head

* * *

**soooo yeah :) **


	3. An Imperial Affliction

"Hazel?" my dad nudges my arm "Hazel, you got visitors"  
"w-what?" i ask groggily

"You got company"

"who?"

"people"

I roll my eyes and sit up.

Augustus's parents walk in, weak smiles glued on their faces.

"Hello" i say grinning forcefully, hoping they don't notice"

"How are doing?" his dad asks in a optimistic voice.

"i'm fine as it gets for a sick person"  
"i guess so.." his mom says quietly looking at all the tubes and machinery keeping me alive.

A long pause occurs in the room.

"So... uh- we found this in a old box the other day" he says getting something out of his wife's bag

"thought you might want it." He hands my the object.

"_An Imperial Affliction"_

_"_i-uh-"  
"we got to go" his mom says grabbing her bag. she rubs her tummy, shes 3 months pregnant.  
"thank you" i whisper  
"good luck Hazel" his dad says waving as he leaves the room

* * *

I look down at the book. This freaking book. I now hate everybody and everything. This... This book lead me to gus and i falling in love at Amsterdam... Well at least showing it. _this book_. This isn't fair. this is in no way fair damn it! I was supposed to die! not him! I am sobbing now, i get up to get a tissue from the table at the end of the room, i get up

* * *

"HAZLE!" my mothers voice echos in my mind  
i try to respond. I can't.  
"DOCTOR!"  
Everything is fuzzy. Then black.

All is **black**

* * *

**sorry it took so long to update... soo yeahhhhh **


	4. Coming Home

My body feels week in my father's arms. Almost limp. I can't speak, i can't move. Hell, i can barely breath. I think to myself, with the little bit of consciousness I have left, if i were to die right here, right now, would it be what i wanted? Even after Gus, would i still think things would be better if i died? right here? right now? my entire life I've had the cliche dream of falling in love, getting married, having my own home. Kids maybe. Now even if i made it out of this, i still wouldn't get that. I will **never** get that. My life will never be perfect. Never what i wanted, just a few memories of the best thing that **ever** happened. The best thing that will ever happen. Just as i decide that the longing for the sweet, gorgeous face I've missed is needed right now, i see my mother, shes crying. She's in my father's arms. He's crying too. I realize now how just like Gus, there are people here who will be so mad. Who will mourn me for months. My parents will cry themselves too sleep for years maybe. I can't do that, not now. I don't want to ever. I don't want this. I need too see their faces. Just to know that they'll be alright. Just for another day. A week maybe. Just not yet. This is too soon.

* * *

My eyes flutter open.

My mind slowly wakes up.

I am **alive.**

That is more that what i could ask for.

More then Gus could have.

"Sweetie" my mom looks at my face and strokes my cheek in a way that makes my feel at home. eyes are bloodshot with tears, voice muffled. "mommy" I casually would never say that. But if their is ever a time for a teenage girl to call their mom that, this is definitely it. "shh... quite, you need rest." she strokes my hair and leans back in her chair. "what time is it?" I mumble. "2:46 AM" my father utters from his chair. "goodnight." and i fell asleep the way you fall in love. slowly, then all at once.

* * *

"We are sending her home."

"What?! Look a the kid! she's **ill**!" My mom yells at the nurse.

"Exactly. Look, we can do a lot here, cure cancer isn't one of them. We're sorry."

There it is. The silent truth. My mother looks at the nurse like she's going to say something. She never did. She just stands there, not looking anywhere yet everywhere. She just stands there. Expressionless.

* * *

"we're going home." And we grab our things, and we leave.


End file.
